Good Girl: A Memoir

This memoir is full of evocative and specific details of the headlong life of former rock journalist turned ghostwriter and writer-writer Sarah Tomlinson. While most of us did not grow up on a near-commune in Maine with a cabdriver Dad who loved huge ideas but couldn't keep to a schedule, nor did we become music journalists of some repute, I found something to relate with on nearly every page here. The emotions, I mean. The longing, the confusion, and her work ethic and will to survive ...

Reading Good Girl is kind of like reading my own diary or memoir, minus the successful writing jobs. Sarah Tomlinson grew up in Maine, raised by her loving mother and stepfather, but she always longed for the attention of her absent, gambling addicted father. She lived for his infrequent visits and believed his excuses for not visiting her, or providing any support to her mother.By age 15, Sarah was a goth aka rebel without a cause. She hated herself for no apparent reason and couldn't fit in with school mates at her local high school. She applied to numerous private schools and was finally accepted into a liberal arts college, which she paid for by taking on student loans. She immediately immersed herself into partying, drugs, drinking and sex, while continuing to brood amongst like minded individuals at the school. I don't think that education would have ended well, but a school shooting cut it short anyway. Sarah went on to finish her college degree at another college and the story kind of picks up from there.This memoir is about Sarah Tomlinson, a ghost writer and rock music critic, and basically about her life. It's supposed to be about her absent father and their relationship, and there is a lot in the book about him, but other characters come and go almost as often as references to her father. We learn all about Sarah and her relationships with men who are really grown children, spoiled boys who play in punk bands, etc. Sarah can't figure out why these relationships don't work, even though it's clear to the reader that they are pretty much based on sex, drugs, and alcohol. She chooses boys and wonders why they aren't men. Then there is Sarah herself. She comes across to me as a very selfish person. There were cringe worthy examples in the book describing time after time when she was needed to step in and help a friend or family member, but she didn't consider it. Always struggling to find herself, and feed her ego, she never wrote about anything she ever did to help others. She is truly a taker.Having said that, I was interested in the book and read it completely. Whether or not it's memoir worthy, I can't really say. Nothing too interesting happened to Sarah. She moved around, committed herself to nothing but her writing, and complained that relationships weren't perfect and men she became involved in always left her, just like her father.Her father said it completely when he finally told her, in her mid-thirties, that it was time to take responsibility for her own life and stop blaming other people for everything. I completely agree. By the end of the book, she is not a child anymore. Even as a child, her mother and stepfather made sure she had everything she needed and more. The suffering was her choice. And when she had opportunities to help her family, like when her grandmother died and left her a small insurance settlement, Sarah confesses she needed the money and let her dad borrow money from a social worker to have her grandmother cremated. I found that appalling. And later, when her dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and needed money for alternative treatment, he asked Sarah for help and she refused to give it to him or pay for the treatment, and then didn't care that he was upset by her refusal. She felt she had progressed by being able to tell him no. It doesn't sound like she ever told him yes. She just played the victim for almost 40 years.Overall, I stuck with the book because it was interesting enough to keep reading. It was kind of like watching a car accident; I just couldn't help myself. The writing is good also, but whether or not non-memoir readers will like this book, I can't say. It really does read like the diary of an average narcissist.

I'm not a huge fan of memoirs, for the most part. They often seem whiny or self-aggrandizing, a little too much like you're sitting next to someone and listening to every detail of their lives.And it's hard to critique a memoir, which is why I've put this off. It's her story, and it's seen from her eyes. The author may whine, or promote, but it's their story seen from their eyes. It's probably not whiny to the author.That said, and taking out the things I don't necessarily like about memoirs, this one wasn't too bad.The PremiseSarah is bright, precocious child born to hippy parents in the 70's. When her dad's lifestyle and gambling force her mother to leave him, she and a few others head to rural Maine to live life on the land. She reunites with her college boyfriend, and bands with five other families to buy 100 acres.Sarah's upbringing is rural and bohemian, but she dreams of more, including more time with her father. His visitations into her life are hit or miss, making young Sarah believe that if she can just be good, he will show up more often.Sarah is smart and ambitious, seeking more than her small high school and her bohemian home life. Acceptance into early college at age 15 (a special program at Bard College), Sarah seeks to grow closer to her father (a gambling, acid dropping, mystically 'enlightened,' itinerant taxi-driver) by growing up. While seeking a place to be safe and to fit in, Sarah's life is scarred by a school shooting that shatters her small school.Sarah's tale continues with her search for meaning and growth, taking her back and forth from Maine, Oregon, New York, Boston, and Los Angeles. She lives a big life in search of her place, and she shares it with us.My ThoughtsAgain, not a memoir fan. But Tomlinson's story is interesting and engrossing. A child of divorce, seeking to connect with a father that is a little to introspective to realize what he is doing to his daughter, I can imagine that Sarah's story is probably familiar to many children of the seventies and early eighties (when the Age of Aquarius folks were becoming parents). Her quest for more from life is familiar to me, although my life was much different.Tomlinson is a gifted writer, and a pretty good storyteller. She does a good job of telling her story in a captivating, compelling way that I enjoyed. The fact that a memoir kept me reading is proof that it was pretty good.

It is difficult for me to hit the third star.... After rereading Glass Castle yesterday I picked up Good Girl; A Memoir. Big mistake.I am half way through and still do not see what the author had to complain about. Her life wasn't ideal but certainly notinteresting enough for a memoir. I am going to force myself to finish it but from some of the comments below it is not going to change much.Many Dads' (including my own) have a hard time staying in touch after a divorce but is it book worthy? Maybe, Glass Castle is so well written that it is preventing me from enjoying Good Girl....