---
product_id: 171490891
title: "Mating in Captivity: A Memoir"
price: "£19.47"
currency: GBP
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 8
url: https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/171490891-mating-in-captivity-a-memoir
store_origin: GB
region: United Kingdom
---

# Mating in Captivity: A Memoir

**Price:** £19.47
**Availability:** ✅ In Stock

## Quick Answers

- **What is this?** Mating in Captivity: A Memoir
- **How much does it cost?** £19.47 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.co.uk](https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/171490891-mating-in-captivity-a-memoir)

## Best For

- Customers looking for quality international products

## Why This Product

- Free international shipping included
- Worldwide delivery with tracking
- 15-day hassle-free returns

## Description

When recent Harvard grad Helen Zuman moved to Zendik Farm in 1999, she was thrilled to discover that the Zendiks used go-betweens to arrange sexual assignations, or “dates,” in cozy shacks just big enough for a double bed and a nightstand. Here, it seemed, she could learn an honest version of the mating dance—and form a union free of “Deathculture” lies. No one spoke the truth: Arol, the Farm’s matriarch, crushed any love that threatened her hold on her followers’ hearts. An intimate look at a transformative cult journey, Mating in Captivity shows how stories can trap us and free us, how miracles rise out of crisis, how coercion feeds on forsaken self-trust.

Review: Helen is a true heroine - I couldn't put it down. Helen Zuman sheds a light into a fathomless darkness, exposing evil at its' most human. I hope she keeps writing, her style is highly visually appealing and her voice is pure. The collapse of this cult was one of the best examples of what people can do individually to overcome hordes of brainwashed monsters.
Review: We enjoy the story about this clueless and horny young woman, even if we don't learn everything about her that we want to know. - I enjoyed this story, although I ended up quite annoyed by the character/author. She doesn't manage to tell us much about herself at the beginning, and it takes a while to learn what she is like, which we do from what other characters say to her and from her actions towards others. She is criticized many times by others as being competitive in a bad way, but she never seems to see this flaw in herself and instead celebrates that she got the best grades on tests in high school - who cares? She seems selfish, clueless, and not capable of making good decisions. She is obsessed by sex, but repeatedly discards budding sexual relationships or undermines them through outrageous self-centeredness and horniness. She thinks she's so smart, but ends up bumbling from one aimless activity to another, often through dangerous and risky behavior like solo hitch-hiking or hiking and traveling by herself. I found myself NOT so concerned with the oppressive and mind-controlling politics of the commune/cult, which I think is what the book is supposed to be about, and much more concerned with just what dumbo mistake this young woman was going to make next. I was very happy that she ended up married to a lovely man, and I guess she just finally GREW UP. I found the language lively and compelling, if at times a bit contrived. Sometimes I thought the imagery and writing were great, and other times, I sighed to read "His eyes twinkled with mischief" or similar, yet again. Once or twice the writing was too obscure and I couldn't make sense of what she was talking about. The other characters, meaning most of the people in the cult or her family, or people she met up with outside of the cult, mushed together a bit. I didn't feel that most of them came alive distinct from each other. Yet another earnest young man that she does or doesn't sleep with, and then dumps, kind of. As a writer, she gave us plenty of conversations, meaning he said, then she said, with quotes around the words. I found these not to be that well done - everybody sounded the same and talked the same way. The author missed opportunities to bring the characters more alive through additional crafting of the conversations. I loved it that she was so frank about how she learned about sex and I thought she did a wonderful job writing about sex and relationships. She comes across as being rather mechanistic about sex, rather than romantic, which I think is great. She has a few horrific experiences involving sexual assault and wonders if she brought them on herself, and I do too, sort of, wonder the same thing. Where are her self-protection instincts? Doesn't she know that the world is full of predators - every girl knows this. She arranges for a truly nasty fake-rape setup that seems super unfair to the man involved, and I was glad that she tells us that she apologized to him years later. This episode was very well described and quite moving and compelling. I know that memoir is only meant to tell the story of part of your life, but I found it odd that she went to Harvard and tell us almost nothing about her time there. Surely that would be an important time in your life? She took a year off during college, so this was a five year span. During this time we are to believe that she had no romantic relationships. How can this be? She isn't ugly and in fact is good looking in an intense sort of way - how can such a horny young woman spend five years without dating anybody? This makes me distrust her voice a little bit, because I have a big question about what she was up to and what she was like during those five, supposedly formative years. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The author is obviously serious-minded about her craft and she put in a lot of effort to write a book that told her story well, namely the story of an annoying, clueless and horny young woman trying to find happiness and repeatedly escaping danger and disaster. I didn't think this book had much new to say about living in a commune that was actually a cult, but it did tell that story well also.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #1,922,956 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #715 in Religious Cults (Books) #1,804 in Psychology & Counseling Books on Sexuality #35,056 in Memoirs (Books) |
| Customer Reviews | 4.0 out of 5 stars 127 Reviews |

## Images

![Mating in Captivity: A Memoir - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/91G8P7f5GyL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Helen is a true heroine
*by A***R on November 10, 2025*

I couldn't put it down. Helen Zuman sheds a light into a fathomless darkness, exposing evil at its' most human. I hope she keeps writing, her style is highly visually appealing and her voice is pure. The collapse of this cult was one of the best examples of what people can do individually to overcome hordes of brainwashed monsters.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ We enjoy the story about this clueless and horny young woman, even if we don't learn everything about her that we want to know.
*by M***X on July 29, 2018*

I enjoyed this story, although I ended up quite annoyed by the character/author. She doesn't manage to tell us much about herself at the beginning, and it takes a while to learn what she is like, which we do from what other characters say to her and from her actions towards others. She is criticized many times by others as being competitive in a bad way, but she never seems to see this flaw in herself and instead celebrates that she got the best grades on tests in high school - who cares? She seems selfish, clueless, and not capable of making good decisions. She is obsessed by sex, but repeatedly discards budding sexual relationships or undermines them through outrageous self-centeredness and horniness. She thinks she's so smart, but ends up bumbling from one aimless activity to another, often through dangerous and risky behavior like solo hitch-hiking or hiking and traveling by herself. I found myself NOT so concerned with the oppressive and mind-controlling politics of the commune/cult, which I think is what the book is supposed to be about, and much more concerned with just what dumbo mistake this young woman was going to make next. I was very happy that she ended up married to a lovely man, and I guess she just finally GREW UP. I found the language lively and compelling, if at times a bit contrived. Sometimes I thought the imagery and writing were great, and other times, I sighed to read "His eyes twinkled with mischief" or similar, yet again. Once or twice the writing was too obscure and I couldn't make sense of what she was talking about. The other characters, meaning most of the people in the cult or her family, or people she met up with outside of the cult, mushed together a bit. I didn't feel that most of them came alive distinct from each other. Yet another earnest young man that she does or doesn't sleep with, and then dumps, kind of. As a writer, she gave us plenty of conversations, meaning he said, then she said, with quotes around the words. I found these not to be that well done - everybody sounded the same and talked the same way. The author missed opportunities to bring the characters more alive through additional crafting of the conversations. I loved it that she was so frank about how she learned about sex and I thought she did a wonderful job writing about sex and relationships. She comes across as being rather mechanistic about sex, rather than romantic, which I think is great. She has a few horrific experiences involving sexual assault and wonders if she brought them on herself, and I do too, sort of, wonder the same thing. Where are her self-protection instincts? Doesn't she know that the world is full of predators - every girl knows this. She arranges for a truly nasty fake-rape setup that seems super unfair to the man involved, and I was glad that she tells us that she apologized to him years later. This episode was very well described and quite moving and compelling. I know that memoir is only meant to tell the story of part of your life, but I found it odd that she went to Harvard and tell us almost nothing about her time there. Surely that would be an important time in your life? She took a year off during college, so this was a five year span. During this time we are to believe that she had no romantic relationships. How can this be? She isn't ugly and in fact is good looking in an intense sort of way - how can such a horny young woman spend five years without dating anybody? This makes me distrust her voice a little bit, because I have a big question about what she was up to and what she was like during those five, supposedly formative years. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The author is obviously serious-minded about her craft and she put in a lot of effort to write a book that told her story well, namely the story of an annoying, clueless and horny young woman trying to find happiness and repeatedly escaping danger and disaster. I didn't think this book had much new to say about living in a commune that was actually a cult, but it did tell that story well also.

### ⭐⭐⭐ Interesting
*by J***. on March 20, 2022*

I found this book to be both interesting and yet disturbing. I appreciate the author's raw honesty about her life in the cult. She gives no excuses for how she was pulled in but simply recounts her experiences. It is a fascinating look at how easily people can be graduadually manipulated and controlled by ovwrbearing personalities.

---

## Why Shop on Desertcart?

- 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016
- 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories
- 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price
- 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members)
- 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection
- ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews

**Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/171490891-mating-in-captivity-a-memoir](https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/171490891-mating-in-captivity-a-memoir)

---

*Product available on Desertcart United Kingdom*
*Store origin: GB*
*Last updated: 2026-06-12*