--- product_id: 122419247 title: "When Pleasing You Is Killing Me (1)" price: "£22.92" currency: GBP in_stock: true reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/122419247-when-pleasing-you-is-killing-me-1 store_origin: GB region: United Kingdom --- # When Pleasing You Is Killing Me (1) **Price:** £22.92 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** When Pleasing You Is Killing Me (1) - **How much does it cost?** £22.92 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.co.uk](https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/122419247-when-pleasing-you-is-killing-me-1) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description Are you one who likes to keep the peace even when it comes at a high emotional price for yourself? Do your attempts to resolve differences with a controller leave you feeling wrung out and discouraged? Do you sense that your best traits (goodness, kindness, cooperation) somehow become a disadvantage with an overbearing counterpart? These questions and many more are addressed in the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me. With decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter takes you inside his counseling office, inviting you to share in real life stories of people just like you who are trying to make sense of persistent, controlling demands from all sorts of controlling people. A major premise explained by Dr. Carter is that every person has a built-in inclination to be controlling, but as maturation happens, controlling behaviors diminish. People pleasers are naturally positioned to increase their maturity since they are already predisposed to being loving, kind, and respectful. But when they routinely butt heads with controlling counterparts, their maturation is stunted as they predictably get pulled into power forms of communication that include coercion, shaming, accusations, defensiveness, anger, suppression, and the like. In the book, Dr. Carter will recount how real life pleasers developed relationship boundaries by incorporating assertiveness skills, ceasing unnecessary defensiveness, and setting aside false guilt for inner trust. Readers will be inspired to set their own pace in life, as opposed to letting the controller call the shots. Review: Simple, to the point and insightful - I've really felt heard, seen and understood reading this book. Where other books on this same topic have been helpful but somewhat theoretical or too focused on the psychological history and patterns or profiles of pleasers, I found this just right with a greater focus on tools and future behaviours. Yes it was like a series of coaching sessions! It also had so much value adding insights and new perspectives that can only come from someone who has worked very extensively on the topic. I love his You tube videos and was anxious his writing might disappoint but has translated exactly the same - warm, sincere, wise and so encouraging and respectful. I'll be coming back to some chapters often. Review: Great book recommended by a licenced therapist. - Would highly recommend this book to anyone attempting to survive a toxic relationship. ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #125,248 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #815 in Self-Esteem (Books) | | Customer Reviews | 4.7 out of 5 stars 943 Reviews | ## Images ![When Pleasing You Is Killing Me (1) - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51d3kovgL6L.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Simple, to the point and insightful *by L***U on January 5, 2021* I've really felt heard, seen and understood reading this book. Where other books on this same topic have been helpful but somewhat theoretical or too focused on the psychological history and patterns or profiles of pleasers, I found this just right with a greater focus on tools and future behaviours. Yes it was like a series of coaching sessions! It also had so much value adding insights and new perspectives that can only come from someone who has worked very extensively on the topic. I love his You tube videos and was anxious his writing might disappoint but has translated exactly the same - warm, sincere, wise and so encouraging and respectful. I'll be coming back to some chapters often. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Great book recommended by a licenced therapist. *by G***. on November 26, 2025* Would highly recommend this book to anyone attempting to survive a toxic relationship. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Life Rebuilding Book! *by E***N on October 21, 2022* From the very first lines of this book, I felt like it was written by someone who knew each and every one of my struggles. Every new chapter or list of example scenarios was ding! Ding! Ding! for me. I loved the structure of this book- while I won’t say it’s ‘innovative’ in that sense, it’s darn effective and at the end of the day… that’s what we all want, right? Change! The powerful insights and no nonsense communication style of this book had me hooked. I would look forward to my morning journaling time the night before. I remember being about halfway through and thinking… what ELSE could Dr. Carter possibly have to say?! But it just kept getting deeper into areas of my life I had never even considered. If you are ready to do the work sincerely, this book will change your life! For me, I realized I had built my entire identity around the warped cornerstone of the controllers in my life… nothing about my experience seemed to square up. Now, I am REBUILDING my DREAM SELF around ME as a cornerstone in a healthy and loving way that’s better for me and everyone I have a relationship with. I will and have absolutely recommended this gem of a book to friends and family. I intend to reread it as well as refer to my notes and highlights. My only complaint about this book is that I ended up highlighting 90% of it! For all those seeking to set yourself free once and for all- let this book be your guide. Be Well! 🙏🏼 --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/122419247-when-pleasing-you-is-killing-me-1](https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/122419247-when-pleasing-you-is-killing-me-1) --- *Product available on Desertcart United Kingdom* *Store origin: GB* *Last updated: 2026-06-27*