--- product_id: 12167276 title: "The Handsome Squirm Paperback – April 9, 2012" brand: "carlton mellick iii" price: "£26.73" currency: GBP in_stock: true reviews_count: 6 url: https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/12167276-the-handsome-squirm-paperback-april-9-2012 store_origin: GB region: United Kingdom --- # The Handsome Squirm Paperback – April 9, 2012 **Brand:** carlton mellick iii **Price:** £26.73 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** The Handsome Squirm Paperback – April 9, 2012 by carlton mellick iii - **How much does it cost?** £26.73 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.co.uk](https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/12167276-the-handsome-squirm-paperback-april-9-2012) ## Best For - carlton mellick iii enthusiasts ## Why This Product - Trusted carlton mellick iii brand quality - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description Full description not available ## Images ![The Handsome Squirm Paperback – April 9, 2012 - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71hfB7jD+AL.jpg) ![The Handsome Squirm Paperback – April 9, 2012 - Image 2](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/715k3pRWGUL.jpg) ![The Handsome Squirm Paperback – April 9, 2012 - Image 3](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/31ODhiu0-UL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Readable Bizarro Book! *by B***N on Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2013* I'll admit I was a little gun shy checking out this new bizarro genre. My fears were put to rest with The Handsome Squirm. Reading like a fable with jilted sexuality and monster cravings, The Handsome Squirm delivers the goods in a gross dripping grocery bag. This has a fun plot, sympathetic characters, rise and fall of conflict, and turned out to be a well told yarn. It's freaking crazy, yes, so for those who can't suspend their disbelief too far should stay away, but for those who crave something out of the norm, Mellick is your guy. Bizarro newbies, this is where it's at. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Get a Usagi Pregnant *by D***N on Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2012* Mellick is back with another classic bizarro book that describes a possible future america. My favorite Mellick stories are when he rights about a future where the government makes up most rules about how one should live similar to 1984. In The Handsome Squirm we see the government enforcing a new law where woman cannot have children out of wedlock. If this does happen, you must get married or go to jail. The main character sleeps around and does not remember even hooking up with this one woman as the police drag him out of his house for missing his wedding that actually took place a few hours ago. But the main character claims he never got the wedding invitation because ever since the mail became privatized, it cost money to receive mail. So he only does email. So he pleads to the cops that since its not midnight and the day is not officially over, can he just get married instead of going to jail. This is when the bizarro kicks in as he marries into the Usagi family. An alien human mutant who finds no problem with one life ending so another can begin. The one life ending is the main characters. So he tries every way possible to survive and what we get is an excellent interesting story. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4.0 out of 5 stars A different kind of baby food *by M***N on Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2012* What would you do if you found yourself living in a world where family values trumped the rights of the individual? A society where you're fined for swearing in public, it is illegal to divorce if there are children involved, all media has to be 'safe' for the entire family, and women are not allowed to have children outside of marriage. Moochy (or so his mother likes to call him) finds himself in a predicament with one of these laws when police show up to arrest him for not showing up to his court-mandated wedding. Apparently he has impregnated a woman, therefore, he is now required by law to marry her or serve 18 years in prison. And this is no ordinary woman...her name is Dokura, and she is part of a group called the Usagi. She has glowing blue eyes, shows no emotion of any kind, and oh, she wants to slowly digest him to feed the litter of babies she is carrying. Now he must figure out a way to escape before he ceases to exist, but it seems that he has the world working against him, including his own mother.This is a more simplistic plot than what I am used to from CM3, but that is not to say that it is a lesser work. From page 1, he grabs the reader and doesn't let go. The first third to half of the book is totally riveting as you follow his rushed journey into a world of over-sexed women, who have little to no concern for the male species. You end of feeling as trapped as the poor man who is being held captive. The later part of the book slows down a bit as you spend day after day with a man that is slowly being consumed, hoping, as he does, that he will find a way out. This part of the book isn't any less interesting, just a change of pacing in the story.This isn't just a bizarro book about some strange society of people that consume their males for baby food. It brings up important issues concerning where our society is headed in the new age of individual rights suffering for the betterment and safety of the whole. CM3 is making a statement on the views of what is usually touted from the religious and political right. Ultimately what this book touches upon is how these types of standards are not far off in our society today.If you like dystopian novels with suspense and women with multiple breasts, then this is the book for you. So read 'The Handsome Squirm,' and be consumed by its pages. --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/12167276-the-handsome-squirm-paperback-april-9-2012](https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/12167276-the-handsome-squirm-paperback-april-9-2012) --- *Product available on Desertcart United Kingdom* *Store origin: GB* *Last updated: 2026-05-16*